Mother of Mine
by RomulusRemus
Summary: What happens when Quatre finds out that he is not a test tube baby? How will he find out? Will this change his relationship with any of the other pilots? There will be some slight yaoi at the end of this story. (Trowa/Quatre)
1. Discovery

A/N: I know this one has probably been done a million times over but I wanted my shot of saying how it would be done. So for whoever is reading this in the ff.net universe I know it's not original! I would also like to note, that I have no idea when Quatre's birthday is, so I just made up a date. If anyone knows, tell me and I'll change it. Okay, on to the story.  
  
It was simply hilarious. Duo and Quatre were having trouble breathing and even Trowa and WuFei had managed to laugh out loud several times. Duo's braid whipped around as he swung his head between the T.V and the battle to end all battles.  
  
Quatre's overly large T.V was on what would have once been known as the "Discovery Channel" but was now known as "Ecological History Channel." Today there was a special on the African lion. The British T.V announcer informed them about the current events happening on the screen.  
  
"It seems two males have spotted the same female. We're about to see how vicious male lions can be when they want a females attention."  
  
Duo held his side and croaked with laughter. "Oh Quatre I think I'm going to die!" He screeched.  
  
Far off screen Zechs and Heero were staring each other down. They were near the head Quatres antique dining room table. Sitting in the head seat was a seven month pregnant Relena. "Now boys." She started.  
  
"Quiet!" Both of them hissed.  
  
"Oh look, they're circling each other now. I do believe they're ready to go in for the kill!" The announcer said with the slightest hint of delight.  
  
Zechs and Heero took one step towards each other, each gauging the others reaction. "Stand down Zechs," Heero growled.  
  
On the screen one of the lions let out a mighty roar.  
  
"Not on your life," Zechs hissed.  
  
The other lion challenged him with a roar of his own.  
  
"Well look at that they've sprung!" The announcer shouted. On the screens the lions were viciously biting and clawing at each other.  
  
"I know what's best for her!" Zechs screamed.  
  
"No I do!"  
  
"I'm older than you I know more things!"  
  
"No you don't!"  
  
"I'm her brother!"  
  
"Yeah? Well I'm her husband and the father of the baby!" Heero shouted.  
  
"Touché," WuFei grinned.  
  
"It seems the younger lion has won this brawl. But there will certainly be further encounters. Mating season has only just begun."  
  
Zechs scowled and backed away. "All right! Who betted Zechs would win that one? I want some money!" Duo said, smiling brightly.  
  
"We didn't bet on that one Duo. We were too busy laughing." Quatre said, still grinning.  
  
"Damn.I wanted some extra dough."  
  
"Simply classic," Trowa said, a rather foreign smile on his face.  
  
"Who would have thought Zechs and Heero would have been reduced to bickering children?" WuFei said, looking over at Heero with a mixture of disgust and amusement.  
  
"Women can do that do ya," Duo said slyly, winking and WuFei who had a brief flash of Sally's face in his mind and frowned. "Indeed," he muttered under his breath.  
  
"Oh! I keep forgetting! Do you know what it's going to be yet Relena?" Quatre called out.  
  
Relena smiled pleasantly. "A boy."  
  
"A mini-Heero!" Duo sang.  
  
"I should hope not," Heero scoffed.  
  
Quatre chuckled. "What are you going to name him?"  
  
The bright look disappeared off of Relenas face and Heero grew even more menacing. They glanced at each other and Relena said evenly, "we haven't decided yet."  
  
Duo smiled knowingly. "Disagreeing are you?" He asked.  
  
"To put it lightly." Heero said.  
  
"Give it up Heero. She's going to use the "I'm carrying the baby I get to name the baby" leverage on ya and you're not going to be able to fight back. That's how Hilde was anyway."  
  
WuFei smiled. "Oh is that how she won that little battle?"  
  
Duo snorted. "We'll see how you are when Sally is pregnant."  
  
WuFei stiffened and Duo smirked. "Bah, children are a nusicence."  
  
"What do you bet you're the next one to become a father?"  
  
WuFei stood up. "Maxwell I am going to."  
  
"Come on guys!" Quatre stood between Duo and WuFei. "Since you all came here to help me gather items for auction why don't we start on that?"  
  
"What exactly is this auction for anyway?" Duo asked.  
  
"It's the Winner family's' annual auction. The money goes to a children's' hospital fund."  
  
Duo nodded glad the stuff he brought was going to be sold for something good. Each pilot (and Relena and Zechs) had brought something to be sold at the auction. Heero had brought an old riffle had "just lying around." Relena gave Quatre an antique tea set. Zechs all too eagerly gave up a portrait of his father. Duo had brought three boxes of DVDS, a rare find nowadays and a wrench he swore was from pre-colonial times. Quatre wasn't planning on giving the latter in. Trowa had given in one of his various circus uniforms because it was all he had been able to think of to give. WuFei had given in a rather decorative katana that he never really used or cared about. And now it was Quatres turn.  
  
He had rifled through his mansion for weeks. He had collected every little odd and end he could think of. But he still had one more room to do.it was for this purpose that he had really called his friends thought none of them knew it. They thought Quatre just need their things and maybe for them to place a few bids at the auction. But Quatre needed them for this moment.  
  
"So you said we have to go through one more room of yours, then bring this stuff to the auction place, stick around until bidding time, bid, come back and party right?" Duo asked.  
  
"That's right," Quatre brightened up. With all of them here, it would be easy to go in there. "Which room are we going in Q-Man?" Duo asked.  
  
Quatre took a deep breath. It was hard even to say it. "My fathers," he managed to get out.  
  
Trowa looked up at him immediately. "Ah," Duo said. "Well, lets do it!"  
  
Quatre gave a weak smile. He hadn't been in his father's quarters before his father died. Every time he would reach for the knob he'd almost break down again. It would be better to confront the shadows with his friends.  
  
Relena made a move to get up and Heero and Zechs were near her so fast it was frightening. "It's best that you don't get up Relena," Zechs said.  
  
"Yes, Relena just stay here and relax. We'll be back soon," Heero added.  
  
"I came here to help," Relena said crossly.  
  
"Well, buy something at the auction. You can help that way," Zechs suggested.  
  
"But."  
  
"You're staying," Heero said in an end of discussion tone. Relena scowled and tried to stand up. "Relena!" Heero growled.  
  
"I want to move closer to the T.V. damnit!" Relena snarled. "You should have said so!" Heero said and he offered his hand to her. Relena looked at his hand for a second debating whether she should obey or not. In the end she took his hand and even let him lead her to the couch all the while muttering: "three more months, just three more months."  
  
Zechs looked at Heero approvingly and Quatre called to Relena "Don't worry! We'll be quick!" as they left. "You guys should really lay off her. She's gonna go insane, you're going to have to commit her and the baby's going to be all alone with Heero!" Duo said.  
  
"She." Heero and Zechs said at the same time.  
  
"She what? She doesn't know how to take care of her own body? I highly doubt that. Yeah, I know you're worried about her and the baby's heath and everything but you're going to make her go off the deep end. Plus you could get hit in the head with a cheese grater."  
  
WuFei smirked. "You speak from experience Maxwell?"  
  
"No shit. I care about Hilde and Brooke. I cared when Hilde was pregnant. I used to stay up all night just looking at her. Making sure she didn't die in the middle of the night or anything. I was insane. I followed Hilde everywhere. I did everything for her. I never let her move. Then I guess one day Hilde snapped. She was trying to make dinner but I didn't want her to have to work hard so I tried to make her sit down. She wouldn't. So I went on the "you need to take care of the baby and yourself" spiel and she just lost it. She grabbed the thing nearest her, which happened to be a cheese grater and just started hitting me with it all the while telling me how I'd been driving her positively insane and to lay off. So, I stopped playing mother hen. Did most of the strenuous things but gave her, her space and we were fine."  
  
Heero smiled. "She threw the remote at me," he said.  
  
Duo and Quatre laughed. "Did she hit you?" asked Duo.  
  
Heero smiled, the slightest hint of red in his cheeks. "Dead between the eyes."  
  
Duo howled. "I can just picture it! I'll bet you had a big black and blue!"  
  
"For a damn week," Heero said sheepishly. "I didn't even know she was pregnant then. I wasn't expecting it either. She had just finished throwing up, so I expect she wasn't feeling very well."  
  
"Were you mad? I mean, the Perfect Soldier missing an enemy attack? Whose heard of such a thing?" Duo asked, grinning.  
  
"No, I didn't get mad. She could have cut off my arm and I wouldn't have been mad."  
  
"Or cut off your."  
  
"We're here!" Quatre announced. Everyone stopped in the presence of two large ornate doors. Quatre swallowed. So many times had he approached these doors to be chased away by his father's final words and the remnants of his own insanity, even if it was Zero System induced.  
  
'Everyone's behind me,' he told himself. 'There's no reason to be afraid. See, you can't even hear anything. It's just a room, just a room, like the thousand other rooms in this house.' He moved his hand toward the handle, no internal noise, nothing. He took a deep breath, the cold handle under his finger. Twist.  
  
The heavy door creaked open for the first time in a long time. Dusty sunlight streamed in from the overly large window by the late Mr. Winner's desk. Quatre took a step in and smiled. Nothing except pleasant memories assaulted him. Memories of sitting with his father in this very room and Mr. Winner telling Quatre about the beautiful Earth.  
  
He had been right to bring his friends with him. It was like being back in the good side of the war again. The unity he and the other pilots had had while fighting. And this was just another battle.  
  
He went over to the desk and ran his fingers over the cool wood. He turned back to them. "We should sort through his books, see if there is anything worth selling. I know there are some nice things in his bedroom but I want to take care of this room first." His friends nodded, assured that Quatre was fine and went to work on a rather tall bookshelf.  
  
"Okay, how are we going to get up there?" Duo asked.  
  
Trowa smiled. "Easy, if Zechs will lend me his shoulders."  
  
"You're going to step on my shoulders?" Zechs asked, trying not to sound alarmed.  
  
"Well, I'm probably the lightest, and do you really trust Duo up there?"  
  
Zechs nodded. "And you're the tallest," Trowa affirmed. "Not to mention that I have a history of acrobatics." Zechs nodded once more, resigning himself to the facts.  
  
"Okay," Trowa said, stepping back. "Brace yourself. I'm going to throw down all the books. So everybody better be ready to catch them." Zechs took a deep breath and tensed up. "Ready."  
  
Trowa made a light jump into the air without his usual complicated spins and landed on Zechs shoulders. He grabbed every book in sight and sent them downward. WuFei and Heero zoomed around the room collecting every book silently and without the slightest hint of trouble. Quatre was still looking at the desk and Duo stood to the side, his arms crossed, kind of upset that they didn't want him to help.  
  
Soon all of the books were on the floor and everyone sat around the pile, sorting through them. "War and Peace? What the hell kind of title is that?" Duo said, looking sternly at an old book. "Oh that's really old! Some ancient literature collectors are going to the auction put it in the Take pile." Quatre said. The Take pile stood in the shadow of the massive Not Take pile, which had an odd assortment of everything from engineering to real estate.  
  
Quatre had taken to talking softly to himself, a habit he picked up from Relena when they had once had to file paper work together. "Lettuce Delicacies? No. How to Fix Your Ships' Transmission? Nope. Grogmires Better Paintings? No. Hmmm.what's this?" He looked at a blue book without a title. He opened it and his eyes opened wide. This was his father's diary. His hands itched to turn the page. But wasn't that an invasion of privacy? Even if he was dead.  
  
He sighed. He wouldn't open it any further. He got up to put it on his father's desk when something fluttered down from the book. He bent down to examine it. It was a picture. A picture of a woman. She looked so familiar. Like someone he saw everyday but couldn't name.  
  
He looked on the back. In scrawling letters Quatre read: Catherine Raberba Winner, June 32nd, A. C. 179. Quatre inhaled sharply. Was this one of his older sisters? A sister he didn't know about? A sister who had died? No.there was no way.no way.  
  
"Quatre?" Trowa had noticed that Quatre had paused in his sorting. Quatre jerked his head from the picture and stared at Trowa, as though he had never seen him before. "What does this mean?" Quatre stated loudly. "What does this woman mean?"  
  
By now everyone was watching Quatre. "Yo, Quatre, what did ya find?" Duo asked.  
  
It was at this point that Quatre lost his inhibitions at opening his father's diary. He practically wrenched it open and flipped through the pages waiting for something to call to him. And something did. Something screamed to him. An awful sort of scream, like that of a banshee.  
  
December 22nd, A. C. 180.Quatre paused on this page. This was his birthday. The writing was different here. It was sharper, not as neat. The entry went as follows:  
  
Oh dear God I do not even know why I am writing. I can barely breathe. The bottom has fallen out from my world. Catherine has died. I knew it would happen.she knew it as well and yet she continued on when we could have stopped it. Oh God, she's gone, she's really gone. I cannot cry, I believe I am beyond tears. And still, I must move on. If not for my sake, then at least for Quatre's. Yes, Quatre is the child Catherine died to give life to. He is so beautiful. He looks just like her. Oh Lord I was she was hear to raise him with me! I miss her so much! And Quatre! Poor Quatre, never to have a mothers love. I can't write anymore, it hurts too much.  
  
Quatre dropped the book to the floor. The pages didn't change; they just sat there, mocking him. He looked up at his friends, their eyes burning holes in him. "Quatre?" Trowa asked again.  
  
Quatre bolted from his sitting position and raced to the bathroom. He didn't know until he got there, whether he would vomit or cry.  
  
~*~  
  
Okay, that's Part 1. Please tell me what you think. 


	2. On the Brink of Insanity

A/N: Thank you to GWluverGirl, WingofShinigami, klyukaizer, SPACEheart04 and kawaii-chan for reviewing ^_^. Now a quick recap and then on with the show!  
  
Quatre dropped the book to the floor. The pages didn't change; they just sat there, mocking him. He looked up at his friends, their eyes burning holes in him. "Quatre?" Trowa asked again.  
  
Quatre bolted from his sitting position and raced to the bathroom. He didn't know until he got there, whether he would vomit or cry.  
  
As it turned out, he ended up doing a little of both. First he hung over the toilet, like some drunken fool and heaved up anything that was left in his stomach. When he was finished he flushed the toilet and as he watched his vomit spiral downward to the land of no return he started sobbing. He clutched at his sides and lowered himself to the ground.  
  
He looked up and was happy to see that in his mad dash to get to the bathroom he had not forgotten to close and lock the door. 'Thank God for habit,' was his last coherent thought before he surrendered himself over to feeling. And oh what a horrible feeling.  
  
The pain was intense. That was something Quatre had learned from the war. Something he had learned the hard way. You can get shot, you can get cut and it will hurt. But if something happens to you that will affect you emotionally it hurts a million times worse. So much worse that you pray for physical pain to take the edge off the internal suffering.  
  
Quatre was a being of feeling now. A creature from the dawn of time that had no logical thoughts. He knew there was pain and he did not want to think about why. He could hardly breathe.  
  
I can barely breathe.  
  
The line jumped from nowhere into Quatres unfocused stream of would be thoughts. "No!" He hissed. "It can't be true! I don't want it to be true!"  
  
The creature of pain was dancing dangerously close to something else. Someone else. Insanity had visited Quatre once and it seemed it cared to drop in again. And Quatre would allow it.  
  
Insanity brought with it a relief, a balm for the pain. It whisked it away. Carried it to the nether regions of space and burned it. Let the pain feel pain, we have no need for you here! But with the relief came two other things. The thoughts. The horrible thoughts he didn't ever want to think again. But more importantly came the wanting. The sinister wanting.  
  
The wanting was pain in itself. It scorched Quatre from the inside and it summed up his thoughts into one singular purpose.  
  
Get blood.  
  
Blood. He had to have it. Had to taste it. But where? Then he smiled. He knew where.  
  
He hunched over in a gross replay of what had occurred to him only moments before. But instead of tears of water, there would be tears of blood.  
  
He scratched at his temples. Then he struck gold as it were. Blood trickled from eight cuts. It dribbled onto his fingers and stained the white bathroom carpet.  
  
The bleeding was quick by soldier standards but it was enough to make the demons of insanity in Quatre happy. He rolled in the blood on the floor staining his golden hair.  
  
Then he looked to his bloody fingers and delightedly started sucking on them. Delicious. Delicious? Halfway through his grotesque meal Quatre found himself. He sat up abruptly and quickly analyzed the situation.  
  
He'd lost his mind apparently. There was pain at his temples at blood on his fingers. He didn't want to think about what he'd been doing. He had too much to think about already.  
  
First priority, take care of his appearance. He examined himself in the bathroom mirror. What he saw almost made him vomit again. His mouth had blood smeared all around it and his temples were a mess of blood. His hair was tinted with the blood he'd drawn and his fingers felt disgustingly sticky.  
  
He ran his fingers under the sink, unable to watch as his blood swirled into the drain. He grabbed a washcloth near the sink (the Winner bathrooms were always well stocked) and dabbed a bit of soap on it. He gently cleaned his scratches then attempted to wash the blood out of his hair. If you didn't look very hard he could pass for normal.  
  
He looked down at the sink, knowing he couldn't deal with a large group of people right now. He defiantly wouldn't be going to the auction, or sifting through the rest of his father's belongings. Just thinking about it sent a surge of emotion to the surface, but Quatre stifled them. Not now. Not yet.  
  
Now it was time to take care of his friends. He'd have to get them to tell the auctioneers that he was sick or something. Someone else would have to be the master of ceremonies. This wasn't going to do wonders for his reputation, even though it was a good one. Missing out on your own auction said something about you as a person. It said you didn't care. And Quatre didn't. All he knew was that he needed to be alone.  
  
Quatre took a deep breath and exited the bathroom to face his friends.  
  
When Quatre had rushed from the group Trowa had reached for the open diary and had hesitantly read the entry. "What is it Trowa?" Duo had asked. "What's up with Quatre?"  
  
"Well," Trowa started, not quite sure it was his place to do say this. "It says here that Quatre had a mother."  
  
WuFei scrunched up his features. "And this means?"  
  
Trowa seemed surprised. "You mean Quatre never told all of you?"  
  
"Told us what?" Duo asked.  
  
"Quatre always thought he was a test tube baby. When he was younger it was a great source of resentment for him. He thought his life wasn't worth as much because his father could just create children at will, with no complications or thought involved. Didn't you ever wonder why Quatre has twenty or so sisters?"  
  
"Quatre has twenty sisters?" WuFei asked, stunned.  
  
"Some friends we are!" Duo proclaimed.  
  
"The past has not been friendly to everyone Duo. Especially soldiers. We've respected each others boundaries, that is a part of friendship in itself," Heero said firmly.  
  
"Trowa asked," Duo mumbled.  
  
"I didn't.he just sort of told me."  
  
"Okay, so Quatre has a mother. What's the problem with that?" WuFei asked.  
  
"I think I can guess," Zechs said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"His mother must have died in childbed."  
  
Duo, WuFei and Heero looked to Trowa for confirmation. Trowa nodded stoutly. "His family has had a long line of birthing difficulties, hence the whole test tube thing. Only two of his sisters tried to have children the natural way and both of them died."  
  
"Damn," Duo whispered.  
  
"We can now assume that Quatre isn't going to be feeling well for a while," Heero added.  
  
"And rightly so," Zechs said. "This is obviously painful for him."  
  
"What can we do for him?" Duo asked.  
  
"For tonight," WuFei said. "I think we should leave him alone. We'll have someone host his auction and supply an excuse to his absence."  
  
"Do you think it's wise to leave him alone?" Heero asked. "The last time he was left to stew in his emotions he went on a killing spree with the Zero System."  
  
"He won't this time," Trowa said softly.  
  
"And how do you know that for certain?" Heero asked.  
  
"I don't.I just trust him, that's all."  
  
Heero analyzed Trowa for a moment than nodded an affirmative. Just then Quatre walked in. Everyone's sharp eyes picked up on the cuts on Quatre's forehead but no one said a thing.  
  
"I can't go to the auction, could you-"  
  
"Hey Q-Man we'll take care of it. We'll tell 'em you're sick as hell and I'll M. C. Is that okay?" Duo asked.  
  
"S-sure," Quatre mumbled.  
  
"All right then guys lets move out and uh, should we take the books?" Duo asked Quatre.  
  
Quatre couldn't bring himself to look at the books. "Yes," he croaked.  
  
Duo nodded and picked what had been put in the 'take' pile. He and the others headed towards the door. Trowa paused at the door and gave Quatre what seemed to be a comforting smile. Normally Quatre would have returned the gesture, but now he barely recognized it.  
  
Quatre stood motionless, staring out at the artificial sunlight pouring through the window. His father would often tell young Quatre about the difference between real and fake sunlight. His father. How could he have done this to Quatre? Why? Didn't he understand that the thought of being a test tube baby was hard for Quatre? That it nearly destroyed his decency?  
  
Quatre shook his head. He couldn't think about this now. He'd had enough of the emotional roller coaster bit today. Quatre trudged towards the door, not looking back and willing himself not to think. He hoped his friends had left already so he could go to his room without interruption. Go to his room and sleep.  
  
Luck was on Quatres side for that matter today. After quickly briefing Relena on Quatres problem, everyone had hurried outside to leave for the auction. His mansion, except for his servants, was void of people. And for the moment he liked it that way.  
  
Quatre's bed had never seemed so welcoming. He didn't even bother changing his clothes. He simply crawled under the covers, wrapped the blankets tightly around him and curled into the fetal position.  
  
Meanwhile, the auction was going on without a hitch. Everyone accepted the excuse that Quatre was ill, some were even thinking of sending 'Get Well' cards. Everyone was so accepting of the excuse because Duo was such an energetic master of ceremonies. He had everyone laughing madly and those who had been dragged there by their spouses were glad they had come.  
  
By the end of the night, the children's hospital fund had an astounding amount of money. Quatre would have been pleased, if he'd been in the right mind to think of such things.  
  
At the end of the night all of his friends had gathered around to take about him and his situation. "I think one of us should visit him tomorrow," Duo said.  
  
Heero nodded. "I agree."  
  
"Alright, who's going?" Duo asked.  
  
"I think it should be Trowa," Heero said.  
  
"What?" Trowa practically blanched.  
  
"Oh yes, defiantly Trowa," Relena concurred.  
  
"Why? I think Duo should go," Trowa said.  
  
Duo scrunched him his eyebrows at Relena and Heero as if he was of the same opinion as Trowa. Then he gave a quick glance to Trowa, analyzing the situation. Then he got it. "No man. You're first. You're the closest to Quatre."  
  
Trowa narrowed his eyes at Relena, Heero and Quatre. "I'll go," he agreed.  
  
"Good! Hilde would have killed me if I skipped out on work two days in a row anyway!"  
  
"Speaking of which I have to get back to the circus. We're perfecting a new routine for the Christmas shows," Trowa headed to the exit. "Good night," he said simply in his parting.  
  
"Okay, what was that all about?" WuFei asked when Trowa definatly gone.  
  
Heero sighed and looked to Zechs. "Do you get it?"  
  
Zechs paused for a moment, thinking. A strange look passed over his face and then he said: "I think so."  
  
"What?" WuFei asked. "What is it?"  
  
"Trowa's in love," Heero said simply.  
  
"Oh. Is that all? I thought it was something serious," WuFei scoffed.  
  
"Love is serious," Relena said.  
  
WuFei did not argue the point, especially with Heero around. "Okay, so he's in love. Big deal. It's not our business."  
  
"I would say it is slightly our business," Heero said.  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well, Trowa's in love with Quatre."  
  
WuFei's eyes grew large at the declaration. "Trowa.and Quatre?"  
  
"Seems like it," Duo said.  
  
"And nobody is bothered by this?"  
  
Relena said "No" at the same time Duo and Zechs said "Kinda."  
  
"What do you mean 'kinda?'" Relena asked Duo and Zechs.  
  
"Well.you know they're both men and-" Duo started.  
  
"It's skeevy, that's the best way I can put it," Zechs said.  
  
Relena crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't you dare say anything like that in front of them," she warned.  
  
"We won't," Zechs said. "We were just stating our opinion."  
  
"Good," Relena nodded. "We better get home Heero." In less than a second Heero was next to her helping her up. "Yeah, I guess it's time to for everybody to hit the road," Duo said as everyone got to their feet.  
  
"Somebody should check in with Trowa tomorrow evening," WuFei suggested.  
  
"Yes, I'll do. I'll be over in the area of Trowa's circus tomorrow night. I have my last meeting before my maternity leave, it's perfect," Relena said.  
  
"Okay, if anything really bad happened give me a ring," Duo said.  
  
"Alright," Relena agreed and the friends separated.  
  
The colonies mechanically produced dawn came shining the next morning as Quatre peeked out from under the covers. He hadn't slept last night as much as he had stared into space. "Fuck," he croaked through his dry mouth and covered himself back up with the blankets.  
  
In two hours one of his servants knocked on the fine oak door. The servant's usual orders were to serve their master breakfast in bed if he wasn't up by a certain time. "Master Quatre?" The servant asked. No answer. If there was no answer that meant he was asleep and it was her job to wake him up and give him breakfast.  
  
She opened the door with one hand and entered the masters' quarters. "Sir," she said. "It's time to wake up." She approached the master's bed and laid the breakfast down on his vacant night table. "Sir?"  
  
Quatre jolted up from the brief bought of sleep that had overcome him in the last half hour. He looked around and saw the servant. "Is-is everything okay sir?"  
  
"Cancel any appointments I have for the next couple of days. Tell them I'm sick," he said strictly. The servant had never seen her master like this. He was usually so kind.  
  
"O-okay. Be sure to drink your juice," she said as she bowed out of the room. Quatre looked over at his breakfast tray. There was a cup of tea, a glass of orange juice, scrambled eggs and toast. Quatre grabbed the orange juice and downed it quickly. His physical self perked up with relief.  
  
Quatre did not even attempt to drink the tea. His father had loved tea. Quatre ran his fingers through his hair. "I don't understand.why does this hurt so much? It shouldn't hurt so much." It felt comforting to hear his own voice.  
  
"Why did she have to die because of me?" He asked softly. He had a mother. The thought struck him strangely. All this time, he'd had a mother. All the trouble he'd caused when he was a kid because he'd resented the fact that he was just created on whim. The honor the Magnac Corps had taught him. All for nothing. Just because his father decided not to tell him. What in the name of God had he done to deserve this?  
  
Quatre leaned back and stared at his ceiling, a million and one thoughts running through his head. He would stay in this position until Trowa showed up two hours later.  
  
Trowa had walked to the Winner mansion from the circus, which was only about five city blocks away. He eyed the mansion apprehensively. He wasn't quite sure what he would find inside. Maybe he should have brought something? Trowa shook off the feeling that had been haunting him lately. He wasn't good with feelings so analyzing it was out of the question.  
  
Trowa rang the mansion's doorbell. Quatre didn't have any security outside. He'd had no problem going back to the "people are okay" mentality after the war. Trowa had never been in that state of mind so he always carried a gun, like Heero.  
  
A finely dressed butler answered the door. "Master Barton," the man bowed. By now all the servants knew Quatre's friends and had been told to let them in unless specifically warned otherwise, which had yet to happen. Trowa walked in. "Where is Quatre?" he asked.  
  
"His room. I am sorry to say the master is not feeling well at the moment. Would you like to come back another time?"  
  
"No, it's okay. I'll just sort of.surprise him." Surprise him? Where had that come from?  
  
"Very well," the man bowed again and let Trowa pass. Trowa let his feet carry him to Quatre's room. He'd been there so many times before. He left a brief rap on the door to let Quatre know he was there and then he stepped in. "Quatre?"  
  
What met Trowa's eyes stirred up a painful range of emotion he usually suppressed. Quatre sat in a messy tangle of sheets, his appearance disheveled and the usually bright smile absent from his face. The smell of cold eggs assaulted Trowa's nose as he approached the bed. "Quatre?" he asked again.  
  
Quatre turned his head to face Trowa, his eyes blank. The usual comfort that Trowa felt with his best friend vanished in an instant. "I came to check on you Quatre. Is everything alright?"  
  
Quatre gave a hoarse laugh that Trowa assessed in an instant. He hadn't gone over the boundary into insanity yet he decided. "Alright?" Quatre gave a crooked smile. "There's rather nothing to worry about. Ra-ther."  
  
Trowa swallowed. "A-are you sure?"  
  
"Ra-ther."  
  
Trowa gave a soft smile and reached out to pat his friend on the shoulder. Quatre shied away from his touch and hissed, "Get away."  
  
"I-I'm sorry Quatre. I just." Quatre usually welcomed any form of affection from Trowa. The rejection landed hard on Trowa and a few stray emotions floated to the surface. "Didn't you hear me?" Quatre pressed.  
  
Trowa backed away, suddenly afraid. "I got away," Trowa whispered.  
  
"I'm changing it. I want you to get out. I'm tired of this false sympathy. Get out and don't ever come back. And tell those other fucks to stay away too. I don't need any of you!"  
  
Trowa was so surprised his jaw dropped. "Quatre," he said, smiling. "I-We want to help you. We love you," he said offering his hand.  
  
Quatre angrily batted Trowa's hand away. "I don't care! I hate all of you! Every last one of you! Especially you."  
  
Trowa took a deep breath. 'I will not let this hurt me,' he thought. 'He doesn't know what he's saying.' "Quatre you have to let me help you," he persisted.  
  
Quatre violently moved towards his nightstand, wrenched open the drawer and pulled out a gun. "Get out," he said taking aim.  
  
Trowa couldn't save him with his life this time. He banked on it last time that Quatre would come to what was left of his senses but he wasn't so sure this time. And he couldn't find the words to bring Quatre around. Quatre's acidic stare was burning a deep hole in Trowa's soul. He knew he had to leave. With one sad smile he gracefully left the room and bumped into a servant.  
  
He didn't bother apologizing, he just rushed passed her. The servant entered Quatre's room with his lunch, a pleasant smile on her face. "GET OUT!" Quatre screeched. "DON'T EVER COME IN HERE AGAIN!"  
  
The servants smile vanished and she left the room. She ran back to the kitchen spilling the painful tears Trowa wished he could relieve himself of.  
  
~*~  
  
Woo! Quatre's insane! Don't worry; I won't keep him like that for much longer. Well, tell me what you think! 


	3. Bringing Quatre Back

A/N: I'm really glad everyone's liking my story so far. It's pretty much almost over (one, maybe two more chapters) so keep reading and reviewing!  
  
Heero Yuy was a patient man. He could wait without complaint for plans to come together for days. You had to be a patient soldier. Brash never won any wars (at least that's what they said in training). He could barely remember himself pre-training. Now he had a slight idea as to who he had been.  
  
For the past three hours Heero Yuy had stood next to Relena listening to the most stupid and obscure ramblings ever. At one point he'd been ready to kill every person in the conference hall, save Relena. There were itchy bugs under his skin that he longed to scratch at.or at least jump around with.  
  
Which was why he was outside eyeing the pristine buildings lobby where Relena was instead of right next to her. She was "finishing things up" with the committee members. Another second of that yammer would drive Heero insane.  
  
Relena was happy at least. Her obstetrician had called that morning to say that she had passed into the last two months of her pregnancy. "Only two more months," she had cried gleefully, not knowing Heero had been behind her. Was he really that bad?  
  
"Goodbye!" Heero heard Relena call out. Despite the fact that she was now eight months pregnant Relena still walked with an almost casual elegance. Relena smiled as Heero opened the jet-black limousines door. "Thank God that's over!"  
  
Heero nodded in silent agreement as he helped Relena into the limo. "Pargan, take us to the circus please," Relena ordered.  
  
"I hope things went well with Trowa and Quatre," Relena commented.  
  
Heero nodded.  
  
This was generally how most of their conversations went. Relena did most of the talking and Heero exercised his neck. It wasn't that he didn't pay attention; he didn't really have anything to say.  
  
"Ooh, it's so pretty out," Relena purred. Heero nodded yet again. The colony was decked out for the holidays. Christmas decorations adorned even the most stoic of buildings.  
  
"They'll make it snow tonight," Heero finally said, gesturing to the looming "clouds."  
  
"That'll be so nice."  
  
Heero nodded just as Pargan announced that they had reached the circus. Heero helped Relena out of the car and they headed towards the circus.  
  
The outside of the tent wasn't decorated, but inside several strands of Christmas lights had been put up. Heero spotted Trowa near the lion cage stowed in the shadows of the tent. "Trowa!" he called.  
  
As soon as Trowa made his way over Relena knew something was wrong. "How did it go Trowa?" she asked.  
  
"Bad," he said simply. "He hasn't quite healed yet. I think we should give him more time."  
  
Heero sighed. "We should have given him more time from the start. What exactly did he do?"  
  
Trowa's eyes flashed as he remembered the gun Quatre had pointed at him. "Nothing really," he said stiffly. Heero took his word, but Relena had seen the glimmer in Trowa's eyes. Sensing that there was more to this than Trowa was letting on she glanced at Heero. Trowa wouldn't say a thing in front of Heero, but maybe if it was just her and him Relena could get Trowa to talk.  
  
"Heero," Relena said.  
  
Heero knew that tone. He straightened himself and prepared for an order.  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"I don't care. And get something for yourself okay? I'll stay with Trowa."  
  
"But-"  
  
"A mad gunman is not going to barge into the circus the moment you leave. And if he does Trowa's here."  
  
Trowa nodded in agreement when Heero threw his stare at him. "Fine. I'll be back in five minutes. Tops," Heero said as he turned to leave.  
  
"Heero dear," Relena called before he got too far away.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"Don't assault anyone with plastic forks and knives like last time okay?"  
  
Heero flushed as he nodded and left.  
  
"Something's wrong," Relena said as she turned to face Trowa. He looked slightly taken aback at the declaration and Relena smiled. "Trowa, I'm pregnant so I'm feeling very sensitive to mood changes right now. That and I do have women's intuition."  
  
Trowa let out a small, almost inaudible sigh. "He told me he hated me."  
  
"Trowa he didn't mean that."  
  
"I know, I know. I know he's really messed up right now. I'm not blind. But there were other things."  
  
"Tell me Trowa."  
  
Trowa looked at Relena evaluating her. He took a deep breath and spewed out what had happened at Quatre's. "He told me never to come back. He told me not to have anyone else come to check on him. He called us all 'fucks.' He-he-drew a gun at me Relena!"  
  
Relena opened her eyes in surprise at the last thing Trowa said. "No," she whispered.  
  
"Why does that hurt so much? He wanted to kill me. Why does that bother me so much? It shouldn't. He wasn't in his right state of mind. But it was him and-God I don't know what I'm saying."  
  
Relena raised an eyebrow at what Trowa said. Why did it hurt so much? He didn't know. Damn. Everyone but the two involved knew Trowa was in love with Quatre. Relena knew she had to address that and she saw no point in betting around the bush, especially considering Heero would be back potentially any second.  
  
"You know Trowa, it's possible you love him."  
  
It was Trowa's turn to raise an eyebrow. "He's my friend," Trowa said as though that cleared everything up.  
  
"No, I mean like I love Heero."  
  
Trowa's eyes widened as everything clicked into place. For one brief second every mystery in the universe cleared up as Trowa came to the conclusion he'd been denying himself for so long. "I love him," he whispered.  
  
Relena nodded happily. She put her hand on Trowa's shoulder. "He's going to be fine. Have a little patience. We need to give him his space. He'll come around."  
  
At that point this was all Trowa needed to hear and more. He put his faith in Relena's words. Relena smiled brightly and let her hand drop from Trowa's shoulder. She turned towards the front of the circus tent just as Heero entered. "Right on time," Relena said.  
  
Heero strode calmly towards the pair, a bag of food in his hand. Trowa could tell he'd been running. Heero looked at his watch. "Almost four minutes," he said. "I'm getting old."  
  
"Blame me. If you'd assaulted somebody like last time you'd have been here in half the time," Relena said, smiling.  
  
"Hn," Heero stated blankly and handed the bag of food over to Relena. "We'll see you around Trowa! Take care of yourself!" Relena called as she and Heero left.  
  
Trowa sighed as he watched them disappear from sight. He knew Quatre didn't mean the things he said, but it still stung. 'Because I love him.' The thought brought a blush to his face. 'When Quatre gets better I'll tell him,' he thought. 'I don't know how but I'll tell him. I'll tell him I love him.'  
  
Before Quatre had found out about his mother he had loved Trowa as well. Loved him deeply. But he had never told Trowa for fear of being rejected.  
  
Now Quatre was not in the mood to love anybody. Now he sat in his bed staring into space.  
  
His servants had learned already what the new Quatre required. You left his meal at the front of his door, knocked politely and ran away before he could come out. Sometimes he would eat his meal and you'd take the spoils. Other times the plate would be untouched and you'd think about all those poor kids in Neo-Ethiopia.  
  
Quatre only did things necessary for maintaining homeostasis. On occasion he showered. He lived in the dark space between reality and dreams. He barely slept because when he did he'd see that face. His mothers face. He refused to face the problem, opting instead to delve into the comforting dark space that was beyond feeling.  
  
He lived like this for three weeks and did not notice how the time flew. His friends did of course.  
  
Every night Trowa would prey for the sound of a phone. Prey that Quatre would be on the other line. He didn't need an apology then. Just his voice.  
  
The others were not taking it as badly as Trowa was, but they all missed Quatre. He was the one who usually arranged for them together and without him it was hard to coordinate things. Quatre remembered everyone's schedule. Without him they lacked knowledge of each other's personal lives.  
  
They hadn't really seen each other since the fateful day Quatre found out. Only Relena pursued having them get together, but it was hard for her as well. She was at, her opinion, the worst stage of her pregnancy and sometimes getting out of bed was a chore, let alone calling her friends.  
  
On a freezing day in late December, just a few days before Christmas, Relena got a feeling. The same feeling she'd had during the war when she knew she had to find Heero. She woke that day with her feeling. The feeling to go see Quatre. It had been long enough.  
  
At first Heero refused her. "You're too far along," he said. "I want you to stay here."  
  
"Something's going to happen if we don't get there today. He'll do something soon. Something to himself. It's bad enough we left him this long alone already."  
  
Heero narrowed his eyes at her, but he knew she could not be dissuaded. Despite his better judgment he had Pargan drive her to the Winner mansion. He went too of course.  
  
Quatre's servants were pleased to see some of his friends. Maybe they'd get their old master back. Relena allowed Heero to accompany her all the way up to Quatres door but then she stopped him. "I'm going in there alone."  
  
"Relena-"  
  
"Don't start. I'll leave the door cracked should a deranged assassin manage to get through the window. I need to speak to Quatre alone Heero."  
  
He really hated when she did that to him. He wanted to always stand by her side, to protect her. But he knew she needed to go in alone. He consented to being the sentry with a 'hn' and she went inside.  
  
Relena walked in cautiously. She had purposely not told Heero that Quatre had a gun or she would have never been able to come in here alone. And she knew it had to be just her and Quatre.  
  
When she saw him on the bed she almost cried. He was the shell of the man she once knew. He was skinny, his face had an unnatural color to it and his eyes were blank and devoid of anything.  
  
"Quatre?" she asked gently.  
  
Quatre was about to snap at her when he noticed who she was. "Relena?" the sane remnants of his mind forced the question up.  
  
"Yes Quatre. It's me," Relena smiled, glad that he hadn't shown any aggression yet.  
  
Then he registered her 'delicate condition' and a long stream of thoughts ran through his head. They went through his mind like a chain, linking him back to his misery. They went something like this: pregnant-me-pregnant- mother-tubes-pregnant-mother-my fault-pregnant. He shook his head free of the thoughts and became angry at Relena.  
  
"Get out," he hissed.  
  
She sighed. She knew it would come to this. "Quatre, I know you're upset about your mother. Don't you want to talk about it?"  
  
"No! Get out! I don't want to talk about that. Get out!"  
  
"Quatre, we really need to talk about it."  
  
"No! Didn't you hear me? I said get out! I'm tired of dealing with you brainless idiots! Get-"  
  
In one swift movement Relena had moved to Quatre and gave him a hard smack across the face. He looked shocked as hell. Relena dropped all pretense of gentleness. "Get a grip Quatre! Get a goddamn grip! Do you know what you've become? You've lost yourself Quatre! You've lost everything that used to be important to you! You refuse to see your friends and you threw out and hurt someone who cares about you a lot!"  
  
"Trowa." Quatre whispered, still looking stunned.  
  
"Quatre, I know this is hard for you but stop acting like a spoiled brat. It's tough but you need to get a grip on reality! Get out of yourself! We miss you and we want to help you!"  
  
Quatre looked up, dumfounded at Relena. He had been rudely awakened back to reality and that horrible scene with Trowa replayed itself in his mind. Had that really been him? "Oh God what's wrong with me?" Quatre asked. "What have I turned into?"  
  
Quatre locked eyes with Relena and sucked in a sharp breath as he remembered everything bad from his life. From when he acted like an idiot in his childhood, to finding out about his mother and ending at the incident with Trowa. Quatre felt all the bad emotions gather up inside of him and position at his eyes. Through the bleariness of a million tears Quatre could still see Relena. And then he saw his father smiling at him, talking about the beauty of the earth. Then all the memorable moments with the Magnacs. Happy pictures buzzed around Quatres brain, reminding him of all the things he lived for. The best pictures were ones with Trowa. They seemed to glow and shimmer in Quatres mind.  
  
With the collision of happy and sad Quatre saw how much of an idiot he'd been. Rejecting his friends and happiness just so he could wallow in his misery. Just because he felt he deserved it. How fucking selfish could he be?  
  
Throughout it all Relena stayed with Quatre, patient. Finally, Quatre choked out a sob and threw himself into Relenas arms, crying as hard as he could. Relena put her arms around Quatre and hugged him close to her. She slowly rocked him back and forth, comforting him.  
  
They stayed like that until Quatre had exhausted all of his tears, and even then Relena rocked him until his breathing patterns returned to normal. Eventually Quatre released himself from Relenas hold and gave her a weak smile. "Thanks Relena," he sniffled.  
  
Relena smiled and made a gesture as to say 'think nothing of it.' "I can't believe you came all the way out here to save me when you're so far along," he said.  
  
Relena laughed. "Oh please Quatre, I heard enough of that from Heero."  
  
Quatre smiled. "Speaking of which, where is he?"  
  
"Probably eavesdropping as we speak."  
  
On the other side of the door Heero stiffened. After a moments hesitation he poked his head through the door and gave Relena an angry stare. This only made Relena and Quatre laugh.  
  
"Oh Heero I mean nothing by it!" Relena said, in between fits of laughter.  
  
Heero grumbled to himself as he brought himself into full view. He eyed Quatre, assessing him quickly. "Well, Heero I suppose you want to go then," Relena said, bringing herself to her feet before Heero could rush over.  
  
Heero said nothing, but offered an acknowledging nod to Quatre. Relena turned to Quatre and gave him an awkward hug. It had been easier to hold him when she was sitting down. Blushing slightly she asked, "Quatre can I use your bathroom please?"  
  
"Of course," Quatre gestured to the bathroom, hoping it wasn't a terrible mess. Relena walked over to the bathroom giving Heero a quick look as if to say 'I do not need help with this.'  
  
Heero turned his attention to Quatre and asked, "Do you think I hover over her too much?"  
  
"Well, just a little bit. But you're just doing what feels right to you.right?"  
  
"Exactly," Heero said, nodding fervently. "And I'm trying to-"  
  
"Heero," Relena interrupted.  
  
"Yes?" he asked.  
  
"Call the hospital and tell them we'll be there in ten minutes."  
  
The information didn't quite register with Heero, so as he made his way, calmly, to Quatre's phone he asked, "Why are we going?"  
  
"Well, Heero remember when the doctor explained how we'd know when the baby was coming?"  
  
"Oh the water-" Heero stopped mid-sentence, mid-way to the phone and turned to face Relena. His eyes widened with shock. "Having-baby?" He managed to get out.  
  
Quatre stifled a chuckle. It was strange to see Heero act this way. "Yes, Heero. The baby is coming."  
  
Heero remained stationary, just sort of staring at Relena. Relena, in turn, sighed and asked Quatre if he would call the hospital. "The 42nd street one?" he confirmed.  
  
As soon as Quatre got off the phone, Heero regained himself. "Let's go," he offered his hand to Relena, who gladly took it, knowing that within a few hours he'd stop this foolishness. That and she sub-consciously planned to crush his fingers when the contractions came.  
  
By the time they got to the hospital, Heero had to switch hands because his fingers were throbbing pretty badly. Quatre had accompanied them to the hospital on Relena's request. He wouldn't be going into the delivery room, but he had orders to call Zechs and Noin after an hour to tell them what was going on.  
  
Quatre reached Zechs on his cell phone. The reception was terrible. "Zechs! It's Quatre!"  
  
"Catherine? But she's right in front of me." Catherine? Oh they must be at the circus. At the circus with Trowa. Quatre's heart beat a little faster. "No! Quatre! Quatre Raberba Winner!"  
  
There was a long crackly pause. "Quatre?" Quatre could hear a few shocked responses on the other side. "Yeah Zechs, listen Relena just went into labor."  
  
"Relena's your neighbor?"  
  
"Relena. Went. Into. Labor," Quatre enunciated clearly.  
  
"Labor? Labor!"  
  
"Yeah, at the 42nd street hospital."  
  
"We'll be right over!"  
  
Quatre hung up the hospital payphone and went back to Relena's room. When he had left the doors were open, now they were closed. Surely she couldn't be that far along. Didn't labor take hours upon hours? Nothing could be wrong could it? She had seemed fine when she went in didn't she? Why was he feeling so weird?  
  
No, not weird. Normal. He felt normal. He was happy. He wasn't wallowing in misery. He shook his head at the pathetic thought of himself in that bed for all this time. Perhaps he should go to a therapist to talk about the issues he had about his mother? Yes, that's exactly what he'd do. That's what he should have done in the first place.  
  
"Quatre!" Quatre turned his head to see Zechs, Noin, Trowa, Catherine, Duo and Hilde heading towards him. "Where's Relena?" Zechs asked.  
  
"She's in there," Quatre gestured to the door behind him. "I don't know if they'll let you in. You'll need to ask a doctor." No sooner were the words out of Quatre's mouth that Zechs zeroed in on a doctor and started asking him fast questions.  
  
"I'm sorry," the doctor said. "They're only allowing the father in that particular room right now."  
  
Zechs looked close to murder until Noin dragged him away from the doctor, whispering in his ear not to make a scene. "He's in there right?" Zechs asked Quatre sharply.  
  
"Who Heero? Yeah, he's in there."  
  
"Good," Zechs nodded, glad at least that Heero was with his little sister. Then he remembered that it was Heero who had gotten Relena pregnant and in pain in the first place. Noin seemed to follow Zechs' train of thought so she suggested that her and Zechs take a walk to the food court to get something for everyone. They were defiantly going to be there for a while.  
  
"You better get some for Sally and WuFei too. I called them on the way over," Hilde said.  
  
"Okay, so that's nine meals. I'm not going to be able to carry all that and I really don't trust Zechs when he's like this," said Noin gesturing to Zechs who was staring violently at Relena's door. "I'll come too," Catherine said, standing up. Trowa stood up silently after her signaling that he would come as well.  
  
"Okay," Noin said and she dragged Zechs down the hall with them to find the cafeteria.  
  
"Well, I never thought this would happen today," Duo said smiling at Quatre. Then his expression grew serious. "So, you're okay now?"  
  
"For the time being," Quatre said. Then he took a breath. "I'm going to see a therapist."  
  
"I have a friend who is a therapist. She's really good. Do you want me to set up an appointment for you?" Hilde asked.  
  
Quatre smiled. It felt good to smile. "Thank you Hilde. I really appreciate that."  
  
A tiny yawn made Quatre blink in surprise when he noticed that Duo and Hilde had brought along their one year old daughter, Brooke. She was nestled in Hilde's arms. She had Duo's trademark brown hair. It was already long, by one-year-old standards at least. How much more time until her hair was longer than her fathers?  
  
Duo caught Quatre staring. "Quatre-"  
  
"It's weird isn't it? How life goes on?"  
  
"Are you sure you're okay Quatre?"  
  
"Yeah Duo, I'm okay."  
  
Duo gave Quatre a big smile just as Sally and WuFei came rushing down the hall.  
  
"So," Sally said. "What did we miss?"  
  
~*~  
  
Sorry this took so goddamn long to get out. It was a little hard to write. Tell me what you think. 


	4. Of Pain and Pleasure

A/N: Wow, I never really expected to have so many positive responses to my story. This is the last chapter and I hope everyone enjoys it! Also, on a more traditional A/N message, I just want to say that due to ever climbing insurance rates in the future (even for the Vice Foreign Minister!) women are no longer required to stay overnight after having their babies unless there are complications. They can leave as soon as they are able to, and of course after the baby has all of its examinations. If this is medically incorrect, I'm sorry, I'm not going to change it, because overall, it doesn't make a huge difference in the plot. Also, just so you know, there's not going to be a full blown out lemon. I'm not good at those. There'll be a little bit of limey stuff. Now on with the show!  
  
Duo gave Quatre a big smile just as Sally and WuFei came rushing down the hall.  
  
"So," Sally said. "What did we miss?"  
  
Duo laughed and counted off on his fingers. "Relena's behind door number one, Zechs has gone into ultimate over protective brother mode, half of our group is getting sustenance for us as this is probably going to take awhile, Quatre is going to see a shrink and my foot is asleep!"  
  
WuFei rolled his eyes. "Fascinating as your foot problem is Maxwell, I hardly think that was necessary."  
  
"Oh but it was Wuffie. You need to be completely aware of my physical state of being."  
  
Sally, Hilde and Quatre broke out into laughter. WuFei glared at Duo who smirked superiorly.  
  
"Sally! WuFei! You made it!" Noin called from the end of the hall. Noin, Trowa and Catherine had their arms filled with food. Zechs hovered menacingly behind them, glaring at anyone who looked at him wrong.  
  
"Of course Noin!" Sally said and grabbed two of the smelly cafeteria trays from her. "Couldn't miss this. Which reminds me-" WuFei abruptly grabbed a tray from Sally and rushed over to sit next to Quatre, keeping his head down.  
  
Noin raised an eyebrow, but turned back to Sally. "Hilde, you and Relena had the same obstetrician right?"  
  
"Well yeah why.omigod!" Hilde quickly passed Brooke to Duo without waking her up and rushed to Sally. Catherine maneuvered around Trowa and rushed up to join the semicircle around Sally.  
  
"You're pregnant?!" Hilde squealed. Sally gave an affirming, grinning nod.  
  
"Ohhhhhh another baby shower!" Catherine beamed.  
  
"Another baby!" Noin sighed wistfully. At this point she would have normally glared at Zechs but he was busy intimidating an orderly.  
  
Duo grinned triumphantly and turned to WuFei who was busying himself with his peas. "Am I psychic or what?" He asked loudly.  
  
"Or what? Psycho?" Hilde asked.  
  
"Oh Wuffie," Duo said, ignoring Hilde.  
  
WuFei smashed several peas with his plastic fork and turn to face Duo. "Yes Maxwell?" He hissed. The group had their attention turned to Duo and WuFei. Even Zechs had taken a break from glaring at Relenas door to watch the confrontation.  
  
"Aren't you just so excited? You're going to be a daddy."  
  
WuFei looked repulsed by the word. He'd never called his father 'daddy' and suddenly he wondered what would happen if his child called him daddy. He got very white at the thought of bringing a life into the world but forced himself to hold Duo's gaze. Unfortunately he couldn't think of a good comeback at the time so he simply sneered.  
  
"Well aren't you? Whatcha gonna name him?" Duo continued in a teasing tone.  
  
This time WuFei was prepared. "I don't know. Sally, what do you think of naming him Duo?"  
  
Quatre broke out laughing and soon everyone but WuFei, who was still glaring at Duo and Duo himself who was somewhat stunned, followed suit. The idea of WuFei naming his son (if he had a son) after Duo brought Quatre to tears. Happy, laughing tears.  
  
"Hmph," Duo said as he turned away from WuFei and mock stuck his nose up in the air. "Suit yourself."  
  
"I intend to."  
  
"Okay," Noin said. "Let's eat before this cafeteria crap gets too cold."  
  
Catherine and Trowa started serving the cafeteria trays. Trowa made a point to give his away as far away from Quatre as possible. Quatre watched in silent misery. He hated himself for causing Trowa pain. He accepted his plate from Catherine with good grace and started in on his peas.  
  
Conversation sprouted up in the group. The women were on one side, eagerly discussing Sally's baby. Noin had Zechs tethered near her so he wouldn't scare the hospital personnel severely.  
  
Duo and WuFei were having a fairly civil conversation about the new luxuries on spaceplanes connecting Earth and the colonies. Trowa sat next to Zechs in the cluster of the women and Quatre sat at the opposite end, near Duo and WuFei, listening to their conversation, but never really joining in.  
  
He had tensed up when Trowa had come back with the food. He felt horrible about what he had done to Trowa and wanted to apologize, but he wanted to apologize in private. He kept agonizing about what to say and how to say it. Unfortunately he wasn't doing so well and kept drawing a rather daunting blank.  
  
Trowa kept sneaking looks at Quatre whenever he was sure he wouldn't meet his gaze. He so wanted to go by his friend and listen to him talk. Trowa never cared what he talked about and honestly, sometimes he didn't pay attention. He just liked to hear Quatres voice. It was so warm and inviting.  
  
But he couldn't get up to go to Quatres side. It hurt too much to look at him. Quatre had hurt him deeply that afternoon and his wound had not quite healed yet. 'When I feel better about Quatre,' he thought to himself. 'I'll tell him how I feel about him.'  
  
So he resigned himself to listening to the women talk about Sally and WuFei's baby. He was a bit surprised himself at that particular turn of events. Then again, he'd been surprised when Sally let it slip that she and WuFei were *with* each other if you knew what that meant.  
  
Hell, he'd been surprised when Relena and Heero announced their engagement. He was okay when it came to judging people and their reactions but he was no matchmaker. Quatre on the other hand.  
  
No! He couldn't torture himself like this! Trowa used his soldiers training to focus on the baby conversation.  
  
Sally already had the baby room planned out. Well that was nice, you should always prepare for a new arrival. Hilde started in on how you could guess what sex the baby would be by the morning sickness. If you had it, it was a girl. If you didn't, it was a boy. 'Interesting,' Trowa thought. 'But I don't think there's any scientific proof on that. Maybe Quatre would know.AAAARGGHH.'  
  
The hours passed in a varied tempo of speeds. No one complained when the hours started to drag, they were here for their friends and that was that. Zechs eventually got a migraine from staring at Relenas door so hard, but refused to stop. Finally, the door opened.  
  
Heero stepped out flanked by two nurses who quickly headed in opposite directions when they saw Zechs. Heero looked breathless and extremely happy. Basically he didn't look at all like he normally did.  
  
Zechs jumped to his feet. "Well?" he prompted.  
  
"Everything's fine. She's fine. The baby's fine. You can go see her," he gestured to the room with very red fingers. The words were no sooner out of his mouth than Zechs was in Relena's room.  
  
"Noin," Heero said hoarsely. "She wants you too." Noin smiled and hurried after Zechs.  
  
Duo rushed over to Heero and enveloped him in a manly bear hug. "Welcome to the Daddy Club Heero! You can be vice president!"  
  
As if anyone needed more proof to Heero being happy: he laughed and good naturedly pushed Duo off of him. "Oooooh and guess who gets to be the treasurer!"  
  
"WuFei," Heero said instantly just as WuFei grumbled in the background. Heero looked to Sally and simply said, "Congratulations."  
  
Sally smiled. "And to you too Heero!"  
  
"Okay, is it just me, or does this occasion scream 'party?'" Duo asked excitedly looking at his friends.  
  
"Do you think Relena would be okay with that?" Quatre said, looking at Heero.  
  
"I'm not quite sure. She's pretty drugged up. And I'm not sure if the doctors want her to stay overnight."  
  
"Noooooooooooooooo," Duo whined. "I want to party. I want to have fun. And if I don't get what I want I'm going to hold WuFei hostage!"  
  
"Maxwell," WuFei's tone held both warning and a challenge.  
  
Duo stuck his tongue out at WuFei and turned back to Heero with a pleading look on his face. "I'm not sure if-"  
  
"We'll set everything up. We'll get all the food. We'll get videos or something. All we need is your permission and the keys to your house," Duo said.  
  
Heero sighed and started digging through his pockets. "If Relena kills me I expect a long drawn out funeral that you won't be invited to Duo," he handed Duo the keys.  
  
"Whose gonna stop me?" Duo smiled. "You'll be dead!"  
  
Heero narrowed his eyes. "I'll haunt you. Now don't trash my house when you start this thing up. I'll talk to the doctors about an early release and I'll call you when we're on our way."  
  
"Surely. May I call you Shirley?"  
  
"You are an antagonizing wretch," Heero said. "Now get your ass out of here."  
  
"Okay, let's saddle up folks-wait isn't this Quatre's job?" Duo looked to Quatre. "Your call chief."  
  
Quatre blinked at Duo. "You want me to direct a party?"  
  
"You're the leader," Duo affirmed.  
  
Quatre assumed his responsibility silently by standing up and looking to Heero. Heero gave a quick nod and Quatre asked, "Are Zechs and Noin coming now or later?"  
  
Heero shrugged. "I'll go in and ask," He said, turning to enter Relena's room.  
  
Quatre walked until he was level with Duo. "Exactly what kind of party did you have in mind?"  
  
"Food, music and eventually a movie or two."  
  
"An all nighter eh?"  
  
Duo nodded happily. Quatre looked at his friends on the hard, plastic hospital seats. He assessed his options and finally he spoke. "Hilde, can you take care of the food?"  
  
"Junk food right?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"No problem. I'll just take a bit from Duo's stash."  
  
Quatre nodded. "You found my stash again?" Duo asked Hilde.  
  
"It really isn't that hard you know. I mean, really Duo, you throw your clothes all over the place and I see you sneaking to the hamper with something that doesn't really look like anything wearable? Come on!"  
  
Duo grimaced and scratched his head. "I guess this means coming up with a better hiding place," he said.  
  
"You can say that again," Hilde said.  
  
"I guess this means-"  
  
"Maxwell! She didn't mean it literally!" WuFei groaned.  
  
"I know that," Duo stuck his tongue out at WuFei.  
  
"Catherine, can you take care of the music?" Quatre asked next.  
  
Catherine was a bit of a music expert. She had about three hundred M. C. D.'s (minimized compact disks) ranging from oldies to new age techno.  
  
Catherine nodded. "Sure Quatre."  
  
At this point Duo looked pleadingly at Quatre. Quatre sighed and smiled at Duo. "Duo, you want to take care of the movies?"  
  
Duo flashed a big, winning smile and said, "I would be delighted to have this opportunity to pick out some kick ass movies."  
  
"Oh, no," WuFei said standing up. "He's picking the movies? We'll have to watch that goddamn Jay and Silent Bob crap again!"  
  
"Hey! Jay and Silent Bob rule Wuffie! And what would you pick pray tell? Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?"  
  
Quatre stood between them. "Duo, you pick one movie, WuFei you pick one movie. We'll watch both."  
  
Duo sighed. "Fiiiine, Q-man."  
  
"They'll be staying until Relena and the baby are released," Heero said.  
  
"Fabulous," Duo said. "Which reminds me. What did you name the baby? It's a boy right? Can we see him?"  
  
"No, you can't see him. Yes, it's a boy. His name is Shiro."  
  
"That's nice," Hilde said, nodding her approval.  
  
"Who had the last word on the name?" Duo asked slyly.  
  
Heero narrowed his eyes and turned away just as Duo cried, "I knew she'd use that leverage!"  
  
"I'll call you when we're coming over," Heero said to Quatre as he headed into Relena's room. "Yo Q-man," Duo said. "You want the keys?" he dangled them between his fingers.  
  
"Yeah, I better take them," Quatre said and Duo threw him the keys. "Okay, Hilde your house is by a Blockbuster (A/N: yes, they went to space) right?"  
  
Hilde nodded. "Then you go with WuFei and Duo okay?" Hilde, WuFei and Duo nodded.  
  
"Okay, Catherine and Trowa can head back to the circus and Sally and I can get everything ready at Relena and Heero's house."  
  
Catherine nodded but Sally shook her head. "No," I've never gotten to see the circus and I've always wanted to. "Trowa can go with you Quatre.if that's okay?"  
  
Quatre looked taken aback but recovered quickly. He swallowed hard and struggled to look at Trowa. "Is that okay with you?" he asked, his voice strained.  
  
Trowa gave one quick, firm consenting nod. "Okay," Quatre said. "Let's move out."  
  
"Hell yeah!" Duo pumped his arm in the air and started toward the exit, waiting for WuFei, Hilde and Brooke to join up with him. Sally and Catherine walked together giggling over something relating to babies while Trowa and Quatre walked silently next to each other.  
  
Each group went to their respective cars except Trowa and Quatre. "Shit," Quatre smacked his forehead. "I don't have a car here," he said. Trowa waited silently beside Quatre, waiting for him to make a decision as always but the space between them was tense instead of pleasant as it normally was.  
  
"We'll take a cab," Quatre nodded to himself and led Quatre to a place were cabs were gathered near the hospital front. They got into one and Quatre said, "the Vice Foreign Minister Mansion."  
  
The driver looked hard at Quatre, seemed to recognize him and pumped the gas. They were there quickly thanks to the cab drivers fast and sometimes dangerous driving. Quatre doubted his ability to pull some of the stunts the driver had pulled and was feeling slightly disoriented when he and Trowa stepped out of the cab. He gave the cabbie a generous tip and walked up the grand entrance to the Vice Foreign Minister Mansion with Trowa trailing behind him. Both of them with pressing matters on their minds.  
  
Quatre pulled out the key and stuck it into the lock. It was the old fashioned kind, which surprised Quatre because he thought Heero would have a great deal of security. The second the door slid open two German shepherds started barking madly. Their leashes were straining and they seemed to have pulled some kind of alarm.  
  
"Oh boy," Quatre said, mostly to himself. How were they supposed to get around them?  
  
"Down Fluffy! Down Millie!" Pargan yelled at the dogs. Relena had sent Pargan back when they reached the hospital, despite his protests.  
  
"Fluffy? Millie?" Quatre smiled.  
  
"Well, Milton really, but we never call him that," Pargan smiled. "Heero called ahead to shut of the alarms."  
  
"How many alarms do you have?"  
  
Well, the dogs trigger an alarm that closes off the door to the foyer so the intruder can't get out. If they manage to get past that Heero's room is rigged so he hears the alarm go off and he's down here ready to commit homicide." He said casually. He had gotten used to Heero very quickly.  
  
"Oh.well did Heero tell you about the party?"  
  
"Of course sir, shall I get everything ready?"  
  
"No that's alright Pargan, relax. Trowa, and I will take care of it."  
  
"Very well," Pargan bowed out.  
  
Quatre and Trowa walked out of the foyer and found their way into the comfortable living room. There was a spacious couch in front of a larger than life television set. Off to the side, near the windows was a medium sized table. "We need bowls for the food," he said. Trowa nodded behind him and went to look for the kitchen.  
  
Quatre counted how many seats there were and how many they would need and arranged some spare table chairs near the couch so everyone could have a place to sit.  
  
Trowa came back with the bowls and neatly sat them on the table. Now it was just them. Nothing to talk about. Nothing to do.  
  
'I have to apologize.and tell him now,' Quatre thought.  
  
Trowa prepared himself.  
  
"Trowa-"  
  
"Quatre-"  
  
The blinked at each other. "You first," Trowa said.  
  
"No you," Quatre insisted.  
  
"No, *you*," Trowa said.  
  
Quatre swallowed. This wasn't going to be easy. "I-I-I want to apologize. I was not in a good state of mind when you came to visit me and I said, and did, some terrible things. I-I didn't want, I didn't mean to hurt you. I-" He tried to lock eyes with Trowa even though his eyes were brimming with tears. "I want to ask your forgiveness. I was an ass. I was a fuck."  
  
Trowa nodded, not saying a thing. He had been expecting this of course, which was why he insisted Quatre went first. He knew he would forgive him. He already had. He had forgiven him the second Quatre locked eyes with him in the hospital. How quickly he had lost himself in those deep pools of aquamarine reflected how he felt. But when he accepted Quatre's apology, he wanted to prep Quatre for the speech *he* was about to make.  
  
He took a breath. Quatre braced himself for the rejection he was so sure was coming.  
  
"Quatre I have already forgiven you," Trowa started. Quatre looked up.  
  
"I could never hate you indefinitely. Though you hurt me, I can look past that because of your condition and because," he took a breath. "Because we're friends." Quatre smiled. He smiled one of the smiles that made Trowa feel happy and safe. When he smiled like that Trowa had to struggle against the impulse to smile himself.  
  
"Now Quatre-"  
  
"Trowa-"  
  
They blinked at each other. "Should I continue?" Quatre asked.  
  
"No. I need to finish what I was saying," Trowa said. Surprised, Quatre just nodded.  
  
"I-" Trowa had to turn away from Quatre. Though Quatre had seemed please with the "friends" bit, how would he react when he told him he wanted to be more than friends? I mean they were two men for Christ's sake! Who was to say Quatre was even gay?  
  
Either way it was better to get the feelings out instead of bottling them up inside. With that thought in mind Trowa began.  
  
"Quatre for the longest time now I've had a strange feeling when I'm with you. Like I should be doing more than just standing beside you-"  
  
"Trowa I-"  
  
Trowa held his hand up. "You've done everything and more for me Quatre. I'm not an easy person to contend with, I know that." He tried to swallow. This was the hard part.  
  
"When you found out. About your mother," he quickly glanced at Quatre to gauge his reaction. Quatre showed no signs of aggression at the statement. "I found myself wanting to protect you. To protect you from yourself if necessary. It was strange. I didn't understand why. Why I wanted to make you feel comforted, no matter the cost. After you threw me out," he glanced over again at Quatre. Quatre's face flashed to regret at that point and Trowa quickly continued. "All I could feel was pain. Pain and a wondering to why I felt pain. I mean, all in all, the things you said, the things you did, were nothing compared to many other things I've been through. I told Relena about what you had done and that I was hurting," he took a solid breath.  
  
"She told me that it was possible that I loved you."  
  
"We're friends," said Quatre, disbelieving Trowa was saying all these things.  
  
"That's what I said. I thought that justified things. But then, Relena said," he tried to swallow. His throat was so goddamn dry. "Relena said- she said.that maybe it was possible t-that I loved you, l-like she loves Heero." He stopped then his cheeks burning. Quatre stared at Trowa in complete shock unable to say a thing.  
  
"And I do Quatre. I do. I," he tried desperately to draw in his breath. "I love you."  
  
He kept his head turned. If Quatre rejected him he didn't want to see it. Hearing it would be painful enough. Quatre didn't speak for several long seconds. Then just when Trowa thought he couldn't take any more waiting, he heard the floorboards gently squeaking and before he could turn to see where Quatre was going, he felt warm lips press against his cheek and a hand encircle his wrist.  
  
When Quatre drew back Trowa felt Quatre lace his fingers into his own. "Quatre," Trowa breathed. Now he was the one who was disbelieving.  
  
"Trowa, I have loved you since you saved me the first time. When I felt the world was dark and you brought me back. Showed me the world has so many colors. So many flavors. So much love," he brought his face closer to Trowa's.  
  
Trowa studied Quatre's face. The seemingly apparent innocence he seemed to casually wear. He reached up and gently ran his hand through Quatre's fine gold hair. He held his hand cupped against his face and slowly moved forward. He captured Quatre's lips gently. Quatre moved closer to Trowa and rubbed his tongue against Trowa's lips, asking for admittance. Trowa gladly accepted and soon they were kissing each other like carefree teenagers.  
  
Quatre untangled his fingers from Trowa's and draped both hands over his shoulders. With soft and gentle fingers he made little circles on the back of Trowa's neck. Trowa in turn, grabbed Quatre by the waist and brought him closer. Quatre squirmed against Trowa's thin hips and pushed hard against them, signaling for Trowa to move backwards towards the couch.  
  
Trowa gracefully fell sitting on the couch with Quatre moving on top of him, still kissing. Trowa moved his hands slightly upward, going under Quatre's shirt. Quatre smiled against Trowa's kiss as Trowa moved his hand up Quatre's back, gently stroking him. Quatre continued fervently kissing Trowa but gasped back when Trowa gently pulled at his nipple.  
  
Trowa pulled back immediately, an almost defensive look on his face. Quatre smiled gently and moved to kiss him when-  
  
"Catherine you owe me five bucks." (A/N: What's the currency again? Let's just pretend there's been no inflation even though I've already contradicted that. Oh, well. I've never been good with math)  
  
Quatre jerked back and stared at Sally and Catherine in the door of Relena's living room. Catherine sighed and shifted the big box of M. C. D.'s to one side and reached into her pocket. She handed Sally a five. Sally smiled triumphantly and looked at Quatre and Trowa tangled on the couch.  
  
Because Quatre was so flushed and surprised, Trowa felt it was his duty to ask. "What was the bet?"  
  
"That you'd be making out by the time we got here," Sally said cheerfully. "We brought the music!" She added.  
  
Trowa said nothing but turned to Quatre, who finally gaining his "land legs" as it were, jumped up. Catherine sighed again. "I don't suppose I have to give you the speech about not breaking my little brothers heart hm?" She asked.  
  
Quatre blushed and shook his head 'no.' "Okay, now where is the damn stereo?" Sally asked.  
  
"The T. V. and the stereo are combined," Quatre said.  
  
Sally let out a low whistled. "Those are really expensive," she set her pack down. "But that's to be expected." While she fiddled with the stereo/T. V. Duo, WuFei and Hilde came in. Surprisingly Duo and WuFei were talking animatedly while Hilde gritted her teeth and glared.  
  
Catherine giggled at Hilde's expression and called out to her. "What have they been doing Hilde?"  
  
"If I have to hear one more thing about that goddamn movie-"  
  
"I really wish they would have been more graphic with that scene. I wanted to see him get eaten-that's what happened right?"  
  
"Well, that's how it was alluded to, in the book at least. But you have to remember this was a mini-series on T. V. so they couldn't really do much. The book was defiantly better."  
  
Sally laughed. "Dear God they've agreed on something."  
  
"What did you get?" Quatre asked.  
  
"The Stand," Duo and WuFei said simultaneously.  
  
"What?" Catherine asked.  
  
"Oh no-" Hilde groaned.  
  
"It's this movie based on a book-" WuFei started.  
  
"About a horrible superflu that gets out and destroys 99% of the population- "  
  
"The survivors then must choose sides between good and evil-"  
  
"It's so awesome! There's this wild guy called the Trashcan Man-"  
  
"And a despicable woman called Nadine Cross-"  
  
"And Nick Andros and Tom Cullen-"  
  
"Harold Lauder and then of course there's-"  
  
"The dark man," they said together, grinning. Everyone just stared and WuFei sighed.  
  
"He's the bad guy," Duo said.  
  
"'Bad' doesn't really cover it."  
  
"It's wild! The graphics suck but the story is awesome!"  
  
Quatre, Trowa, Sally and Catherine looked on in shock. Duo and WuFei being so excited about the same thing? It was like something out of the Twilight Zone.or what had been known as the Twilight Zone.  
  
"Let's get the snacks set up," Hilde said and stomped over to the bowls. After angrily pouring out the crème de la crème of Duo's horde of snacks she stepped back and invited everyone to dig in.  
  
At first the dynamics of the party were strange. Usually Duo and WuFei had a wide birth between them. But soon they had tired themselves out with talk of The Stand and WuFei retreated to the shadows eyeing Sally more than usual. Duo crammed his face with cheese puffs and potato chips and order was restored.  
  
"Where's Brooke?" Quatre asked, noticing she was gone.  
  
"Oh I left her at the shop with Howard.do you think he'll take care of her Duo?"  
  
"Oh please Hilde she'll be fine," Duo said munching on a chip.  
  
After an hour or so everyone heard the sounds of approaching people. "The guys are here!" Duo said.  
  
Hilde rolled her eyes. "There are two women with them."  
  
"Three guys, two girls, the *guys* are here," Duo argued.  
  
Hilde opened her mouth to argue, but seemed to think better of it and greeted Relena, Heero, Zechs, Noin and baby Shiro happily with the others. For a while they cooed over baby Shiro then they began breaking off into separate groups again. In this case they were divided into men and women.  
  
The women had custody of Shiro and thus, continued to coo and talk about him. The men could not sustain baby talk for as long so they stood to the side and talked about other things concerning Heero's son.  
  
After a lengthy discussion about where Shiro would go to college (the colonies vs. Earth) Heero looked over at Trowa and Quatre and noticed how close they were standing. He also happened to look over at the exact moment Trowa slid one finger delicately across Quatres palm. Trowa noticed Heero's stare and pulled away self-consciously.  
  
Heero met Quatre's gaze and glared slightly, asking a silent question. Quatre nodded and Heero jerked his head in approval. Duo, unfortunately, noticed this.  
  
"So," he said, loudly since he'd managed to find the one alcoholic beverage being served. "You guys finally made up huh?"  
  
"Duo-" Heero warned.  
  
"Did ya, kiss and make up?" Duo winked. By now the women were paying attention.  
  
Quatre crossed his arms and searched for a proper retort. Trowa beat him to it.  
  
"Why?" He asked. "Did you want to see it? Because I'm sure we can reenact some of it for you."  
  
Duo's eyes went wide with surprise while Zechs and WuFei snorted with approval. Hilde yelled, "Here, here!" while rising her glass in a toast. Sally and Catherine mocked her actions, giggling.  
  
The conversations went back to normal from there, though most everyone kept stealing looks at Quatre and Trowa, who knew, but didn't seem to mind.  
  
Finally, Duo and WuFei couldn't take it anymore. "So are we going to watch The Stand now or what?" Duo asked everyone.  
  
"Or what?" Hilde asked.  
  
Duo mock glared and said, "Or I eat Bobby Terry alive.it was Bobby Terry wasn't it?" Duo asked WuFei.  
  
"They never clarified if he was eaten alive but we can assume something similar."  
  
"Okay, enough, we'll watch it," Hilde said.  
  
Every situated themselves around the TV. Duo popped in the tape (or at least the first tape), sat down and put his arm around Hilde.  
  
Relena was asleep within the first five minutes of the movie with Shiro following suit. No one woke her up but Heero constantly kept one eye on her and the baby and the other on the screen, which sort of mixed up the plot line for him.  
  
Duo and WuFei kept their attention aptly on the screen so much so that WuFei didn't push Sally off when she snaked her arm around his waist. Catherine, Sally and Hilde kept giggling that the supposed nerd, Harold Lauder was kinda cute and Catherine nearly had a heart attack when (a young) Rob Lowe had his shirt off. "What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man," she whispered, sending Sally and Hilde into fits of hysterics, and Duo and WuFei into a "shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" session.  
  
Trowa and Quatre were in the far corner of the couch. Quatre had his knees tucked under him and was snuggled slightly against Trowa. Trowa, in turn, had his hand on Quatre's lower back and he kept stroking him methodically.  
  
The movie was pretty good, considering both Duo and WuFei agreed on it. Quatre and Sally said they were going to read the book, which WuFei approved highly of (at least in regards to Sally). By the time the movie was finished (A/N: it's pretty damn long, I mean it's basically translating a roughly 900 page book into a movie.) dawn was peaking around the Peacecraft mansion.  
  
When Relena woke up towards the end of the movie she welcomed everyone to grab a guest room and sleep until they were ready to go. Quatre was the only one who declined. His home was *that* far away and he did have two ulterior motives.  
  
One, he wanted to sleep in his own bed. Even though he'd been in it for quite a while he never liked sleeping anywhere else but in his own space. Two, he hoped Trowa would follow him for a.rendezvous.  
  
He did. And no one raised so much as an eyebrow. Perhaps they were too tired. Relena called a cab for them and all but ran to her bed. Quatre spent the time in the cab to his house phasing in and out of sleep. When they got to the Winner mansion Trowa jerked Quatre awake so he could pay the tab (A/N: Poor Trowa can't carry any money in those skin-tight jeans.).  
  
Quatre made his way sluggishly upstairs with Trowa leading him like a child. When they reached Quatre's room Trowa hesitated. "You're sleeping with me," Quatre said. Then realizing the meaning of his words he sputtered, "You know in the bed. You're sleeping with me in the bed."  
  
Trowa smirked challengingly and opened the door. Quatre automatically stared down at his clothes, feeling slightly mortified that he had been wearing a wrinkled sleeping shirt and the most formal sweatpants he had. Trowa already had his shirt off and was fixing up the bed.  
  
'Must change.' Quatre thought groggily.  
  
Trowa stared at Quatre, evaluating him. He so wanted to make love to Quatre; the long bout of sleeplessness didn't faze him. But he knew Quatre was wiped. He didn't want to take advantage. He smiled. From being pained over not knowing if Quatre loved him to being pained over not wanting to take advantage of him in a few short hours. He loved that sort of quick change.  
  
Quatre noticed Trowa smiling. 'Is he picturing me naked?' Quatre wondered, as if out of nowhere. He blushed immediately. 'If he's picturing me naked why is he smiling? What's so funny about me being naked?'  
  
Trowa came closer to Quatre and tugged on his shirtsleeve. "You need to change." He said softly.  
  
Quatre, who was still blushing, muttered: "I know?"  
  
"Something wrong?"  
  
Quatre phased out for a second, mindlessly thinking about bananas. Trowa smiled. 'Should I change his clothes for him,' he thought gleefully. 'No. That's taking advantage.' He sighed and settled for a gentle kiss on the mouth.  
  
That's when Quatre woke up. Every inch of him brightened immediately and one particular inch(es) got right up. Needless to say, Trowa was a bit surprised when he pulled back not to see Quatre's glazed over eyes but a fully awake stare. "Quatre?"  
  
"Mmmmm." Quatre pulled Trowa closer into another, deeper kiss. Trowa brought his hips to match Quatre's and Quatre jumped back slightly. They looked at each other in silence.  
  
"Trowa I-"  
  
"We don't have to do this if you don't want to."  
  
Quatre snorted. "Don't treat me like a child."  
  
"Quatre-"  
  
"Trowa," he put a finger to Trowa's lips. "Make love to me."  
  
In the strain between desire and reason doubts were gone. You can only doubt yourself for so longer before surrendering to what you want. To what you need. To what you love.  
  
Life is pain. Suffering is what humans are doomed to. But there are brief moments when pain turns abruptly into pleasure. Those moments are engrained so finely into your memory you can never let go of them. When the moment is tainted with love it glows. It shimmers. It sparkles.  
  
You can never completely explain those moments. The intricacy of every touch, every caress. The march of each heaving breath. The love at both peaks.  
  
Trowa and Quatre collapsed into each other. Collapsed into an unforgettable moment. The details would always be sharp and fresh in their minds. The memory would always be there, followed by many more.  
  
The clothes, blurring from their bodies as they fought to be true. The kisses, everywhere. The thrill of skin on skin. Trowa, blessing Quatre's stomach with feather like kisses. Quatre, giving Trowa teasing kisses on his neck and chest. Trowa, crawling his hand lovingly up Quatre's thighs. Quatre, stroking Trowa's thin hips. Quatre's hand finding Trowa's as he climaxed. Trowa, watching Quatre fall to sleep, loving the way his arms felt around him.  
  
Quatre woke up to Trowa's solid green eyes. He smiled and kissed him. "Morning," he said.  
  
"Evening," Trowa corrected.  
  
"Oh damn."  
  
"Doesn't matter," Trowa shrugged.  
  
"I need a shower." Quatre said, sitting up. "Want to come in with me?" he asked playfully.  
  
"I already took my shower, but thanks for the offer," Trowa smirked. Quatre at that point noticed Trowa was indeed, dressed.  
  
"Hmph. Fine be that way," Quatre winked as he headed towards his bathroom.  
  
'There's nothing quite like a shower to wake you up in the morning-erm evening.' Quatre thought as he stepped into the cool wave of water. After languidly enjoying hygiene Quatre stepped out of the shower and started toweling off in front of the mirror. And then he saw her.  
  
A flood of humiliating, miserable memories fell upon him as he remembered his mother and what his father had hid from him. The pain burst into his heart anew, but this time it wasn't as sharp and Quatre fought it.  
  
"Quatre I-" Trowa said bursting into the bathroom. He caught sight of the way Quatre stared into the mirror and called softly. "Quatre?"  
  
Quatre turned to face Trowa, a sad smile on his face. "I was so weak. One bump in my emotions and I fall to pieces."  
  
"Quatre-"  
  
"No. It's okay. I won't be that weak again. It still hurts, but I'm okay. I wish though-" Quatre swallowed. "I wish I had known her. I wish he had told me. But I can't change it. And I have to live with that."  
  
Trowas image stepped into the mirror and wrapped his arms around Quatre. He kissed Quatre then looked back at the real couple.  
  
In that moment, Quatre didn't see his mother, feel pain. He saw himself and Trowa, their future, their past, their love. *Pleasure.*  
  
"Perhaps we can make up for that shower." Quatre said huskily.  
  
"Perhaps," Trowa kissed Quatre and they made love on the bathroom floor.  
  
Life is pain. Suffering is what humans are doomed to.  
  
You just have to take your joy when you can.  
  
~*~  
  
Wow. This is probably one of the first fics that I have been really, truly proud of. It was hard ending it. I sort of didn't want to let go. Well, tell me what you think of the last chapter! And always remember, reading and readers rule! ^_~  
  
Tale Teller 


End file.
